Journals32
Newest
More Nonsense...
1 min read
... can be found at these websites:
Most everything: www.barkingcrayon.com/
Buttons: www.zazzle.com/conservatoons
Bigfoot: www.brorg.org/ (FAQs are fun)
Carl the Pig: www.carlthepig.com/ (I like the Carl Fan Art)
Stay frosty.
Most everything: www.barkingcrayon.com/
Buttons: www.zazzle.com/conservatoons
Bigfoot: www.brorg.org/ (FAQs are fun)
Carl the Pig: www.carlthepig.com/ (I like the Carl Fan Art)
Stay frosty.
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The State of Conservatoons.
2 min read
Postings have been scant here on Conservatoons lately and I apologize for that. One of my many failings is that the internet side of cartooning - the uploading, organizing, updating, designing, etc., is sheer drudgery for me.
Drawing single panel, gag comics is what I enjoy most and I do it nearly every day. When I first started posting, my problem was lack of content. Now my problem is too much and it is not organized nor presented well. I have been uploading things randomly and calling it good. I now have plenty of content: 3500 comics, just as many goofy graphics/spoof ads, and much more. (Note: It would take almost 5 hrs to read all my comics at 5 sec/per.
I’d like to get more organized and serious so I’m trying to figure a way to monetize my work. Print is dead. Comics are readily available for free online. I personally don’t like the merchandise model. I would rather donate $1 directly to an artist rather than buy a mug that I really don’t want for $15. So to that end I will be working to create a bigger, better website with most of my art projects and requesting modest donations.
Any suggestion?
2 caveats: Patreon is not a possibility since I am a conservative and will likely be removed. No commissions.
Stay Frosty,
Conservatoons
Other sites:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCACkW…
www.barkingcrayon.com/
www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/…
atomiccheese.deviantart.com/
Drawing single panel, gag comics is what I enjoy most and I do it nearly every day. When I first started posting, my problem was lack of content. Now my problem is too much and it is not organized nor presented well. I have been uploading things randomly and calling it good. I now have plenty of content: 3500 comics, just as many goofy graphics/spoof ads, and much more. (Note: It would take almost 5 hrs to read all my comics at 5 sec/per.
I’d like to get more organized and serious so I’m trying to figure a way to monetize my work. Print is dead. Comics are readily available for free online. I personally don’t like the merchandise model. I would rather donate $1 directly to an artist rather than buy a mug that I really don’t want for $15. So to that end I will be working to create a bigger, better website with most of my art projects and requesting modest donations.
Any suggestion?
2 caveats: Patreon is not a possibility since I am a conservative and will likely be removed. No commissions.
Stay Frosty,
Conservatoons
Other sites:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCACkW…
www.barkingcrayon.com/
www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/…
atomiccheese.deviantart.com/
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Has Shark Week Jumped the Shark?
4 min read
The short answer: Yes, years ago, but I still watch it. Even the most avid shark enthusiast would have to concede that Shark Week has devolved down to the pseudo-intellectuals’ version of a monster truck rally / mud bog competition.
In the earlier days it was fun, educational and exciting. What is better than a shark attacking and tearing some hapless creature to shreds in a cloud of blood? We watched the shows thinking: wow, I didn’t know that, fascinating.
Fast forward 25 years. (Yes, over 25 yrs actually)
Now the internet has more shark video and information than you could ever want. Much of it better than anything you will see during Shark Week.
Discovery’s shark shows marathon has the look and feel of a Japanese game show. They over–hype their Sharkaganza every bit as much as ESPN over-hypes the Super Bowl. Commercials start months prior. You can buy all manner of Shark Week swag: DVDs, foam hats, trophy heads and one dozen Shark Week cupcakes ($39.95 +$20.00 handling fee)… to list a few. Even the president will likely put down his golf clubs long enough to shoot a PSA stressing the critical role Shark Week plays in the wars on terrorism and capitalism.
Hey, Stop Hating Shark Week!
I don’t hate it. It does disappoint me though. And I disappoint myself by watching year after year. Here are a few reasons why:
1. The nearest thing today to the once popular freak show is the parade of shark victims every year on shark week. Frankly, it is both morbid and boring now. The stories vary little. They usually involve water and blood with the loss of a limb. Discovery has shown some victims so often that they feel like family.
2. Building a 1 hour show around a 6 second clip. Actually this probably applies to half of all shark week specials. For 30 minutes of the 40 minute (1 hour) show we get teasers, stills, 2 second clips, commercials, interviews of ugly researchers, more teasers, etc. Then entire 6 second clip is shown. For the next 10 minutes that clip is shown over and over: slow-mo, stop motion, ultra slow-mo, backwards, enhanced, computerized version, with commentary ……. until you are utterly worn out.
3. “Hosting” shark week. Does shark week need a host? Aren’t the sharks able to carry the day? Do we really need Oprah or Ryan Seacrest pimping the poor fish? Worse than a famous host is the dull, unknown host with some kind of shark credentials. I suspect a reality show/talent search for the perfect Shark Week host is in our future.
4. Is there anything more boring than shark “researchers” and/or crew members and their stories? That crowd is only a bit less creepy and one dimensional than bigfoot researchers. Watching hyper-sensitive loners wax poetic about their love for these deadly fish demonstrates the need for more mental therapy in this country but it is bad TV. Further, listening to sun-dried cameramen drone on about endless boredom with the rare close call might be fascinating to media wizards but after 2 or 3 shows like that I am ready to move on. Tip from viewers: Behind the Scenes tripe is only interesting to roadies working behind the scenes.
Despite its enormous failings I will tune in for parts of Shark Week and hate myself for doing so. It is an over-sold, inferior product but what else is there to watch in August? This must be how it feels to vote Democrat.
-Conservatoons.
PS – I will do my part and add to the chaos that is over-hyped Shark Week by posting shark cartoons. Fish On.
PPS – Got a peeve about shark week? Share it here.
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Conservatoons FAQ 3.2
15 min read
What's new in this FAQ?
General updates. A few more questions. IAQs
Art FAQs (Scroll down for Political FAQs)
Is this the very best Conservative Cartoon & Nonsense Gallery on DA?
By far.
Do you do any traditional comic art?
Not really. I do a pencil sketch and then ink over it with a black marker. The rest is by computer. I have not used colored markers or paint on cartoons for years.
Why don't you use traditional methods & materials?
They are messy, take up a lot of space, are not as quick and are difficult to edit. I am more focused on the idea than the art.
What size it the original art?
I sketch on regular notebook paper.
Are you a professional? Are you syndicated?
No and no. I'm just a part-timer laboring in obscurity and manning a remote outpost in the war against socialism. I do a weekdaily cartoon for the website of talk show host Lars Larson. larslarson.com/ I also appear on a TEA Party site called Reclaim Freedom. www.reclaimfreedom.org
Printed comics and syndication are declining. Being on the right politically ensures exclusion from most mainstream venues. Finally unless you do a traditional editorial cartoon it is a talent that even Conservatives tend to find frivolous and of little value. Frankly I do it mostly because I enjoy doing it. Enraging Liberals is just a bonus.
Golly, I cannot get enough of your remarkable wit, why don't you post something daily?
I get that a lot so I have decided to post a daily 'toon on Smack Jeeves. Link here: conservatoons.smackjeeves.com/… We'll see how that goes. Your input and reposts would be greatly appreciated.
Do you accept commissions?
No.
I have a great idea. Can I send it to you?
Yes, ideas are welcome but no promises are made. Most "ideas" are really half and idea. I have a huge backlog - literally 500 to 700 undrawn ideas of my own. And this list seems to grow rather than shrink. It is not likely that I will get to it in a timely manner. Do not "note" me an idea or ask 1st in comments, just state it in the comments. Maybe a fellow Deviant will be motivated to draw it before me. I do not pay for ideas.
Where do you get your ideas?
Same as most people: living among the enemy in a very liberal state, talk radio, friends and family. Ideas abound. Contrary to what many think: lack of time and a limited drawing ability are my bottlenecks. Transforming a whimsical notion into a concise single panel comic often demands more time and talent than I have. I do what I can.
Why aren't your graphics in higher resolution?
Download speed and ease. They are meant for the web.
Can I use a comic for… X, Y, Z?
In general, yes if they are for personal use such as blogs, online favorites, wallpaper, personal sites, a refrigerator, cubicle, classroom etc, yes go ahead print, use, display. You do not need to ask me for permission to link or post something in your journal, Facebook, Pintrest, Tumblr, etc. However mass publications, for profit enterprises and redistribution, etc. will require written approval.
Why do you have over 800 deviations here?
Because I am too lazy to post more often.
How many single panel comics have you drawn?
I draw 5-7 single panel cartoons every week and have completed about 2400: 60/40 generic to conservative.
And graphics?
Many more than comics.
I like the comics. Why do you bother with graphics?
Graphics are quick and easy. They often garner more attention. Maybe because they are easy to read? Also sometimes my ideas/notions lend themselves more to a quick graphic than to a comic.
I like the graphics. Why do you bother with comics?
Single panel comics are my favorite. They take longer and don't get the respect of graphics, stamps, etc. but I like doing them.
What is with your backgrounds? Sometimes they are almost nonexistent and other times they are overly complex.
True.
Who is Carl the Pig and why do you weasel him into your comics?
When I need a non-human Republican to make a point I often ask Carl to help. Part of his compensation is in the form of face-time in other comics. You can often spot him or his friend Ed the Cat on products, pictures, toys and in the background of my comics. I am working on a Carl the Pig site here: www.carlthepig.com/
What about all the typos? How stupid are you?
Well sometimes they are just honest mistakes. I am human. I don't brag about my spelling. Often I have written and edited the caption(s) several times and get lost in all the corrections.
"Hack" part is purely subjective. In the spectrum of art ability I think I fall somewhere to the good side of average and therefore hack does not apply.
I make no secret that I am a big fan of Gary Larson. To the best of my knowledge Gary Larson penned his last syndicated comic in 1996. All his work is featured in the books: Far Side Gallery (1-5), Pre-History of the Far Side and The Last Chapter and Worse. Please present proof along with any plagiarism rant.
Now, have I bit-surfed? ("bit-surf"- a la Dennis Miller: to take somebody else's idea/bit and add to it or tweak it slightly (surf)) Yes, I have. Everyone has. It is possible that I have subconsciously taken a gag from somewhere else, but I have no intention, desire or need to plagiarize.
Do you sell original art?
No.
Why not?
No market for it. My "originals" are a pencil sketch on notebook paper and a matching inked "final." They do not present a very marketable offering.
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
Conservative T-shirts: www.cafepress.com/redtusker
Comic Compendiums: stores.lulu.com/cheeseboy101
Bumper Stickers: www.zazzle.com/Conservatoons
Other Galleries: www.barkingcrayon.com
Can I buy a signed copy of your marvelous Toon Compendiums?
No. Since they must be bought through a 3rd party vendor signed volumes are not possible at this time.
Why don't you have any ebooks?
I'm working on it. It seems graphic ebooks are far trickier than text ebooks.
You are my hero! How can I ever thank you?
Thanks. Forward my stuff to your Liberal friends. It will make my day.
Political FAQs
Why do you even bother with FAQs that Liberals won't read?
These are mostly for the benefit of fellow Conservatives but there is a whimsical part of me that wants to believe that a few Liberals will eventually get it.
Why don't you draw "normal" editorial cartoons?
This is largely out of necessity. Standard editorial cartoons are best served fresh. I am rarely able to draw cartoons as the news is breaking. In order to extend the shelf life of a cartoon, I minimize the use of caricatures. Finally, over-labeling is a pet peeve of mine. An example: the classic monster/tiger/ape/storm with the label: deficit/budget/war/taxes.
OK, but why do you impose rightwing, political nonsense here on DeviantArt?
Nobody forces you to visit this page. DA admin is obviously more reasonable than most of its members or else I would be gone. I began by posting apolitical stuff but quickly got fed up with the smug Liberal assumptions: to oppose Socialism was racist, profit is evil, morals are wrong, abortion must be celebrated, standards have no value, hard work is for the stupid, rich got that way by stealing, minorities are handicapped, etc. It also vexed me when US flags, patriotic themes, conservative and/or religious messages were so resoundingly put down and belittled. So I started posting my conservative, pro-America stuff in rebuttal. The hostility of those who claim the mantel of "tolerance" amused me. It continues to this day.
I don't want to preach to the choir. It is good for Liberals to be reminded that outside their sheltered, dependent enclaves that real Americans are far more conservative than they. Conservatives have a negative image in popular culture and their values are usually misrepresented by the ruling liberal class. It is the duty of every Conservative to push back the socialist hordes wherever they exist. Finally, the comments here showcase the liberal version of tolerance and open mindedness.
Do you get a lot of hate mail?
See comments.
Why do you use so many stereotypes?
I will not preface every comic with a disclaimer. I realize that not every liberal is slack-jawed, stoner living in their parents' basement. I am also aware that not every conservative is an uptight, be-suited prude. But there is a core of truth in stereotypes and it eliminates the need for awkward labeling or superfluous dialog. (see "editorial cartoon" above)
Some of your stuff is crass, mean-spirited & unfair!
Yeah, maybe. But if my work had a Liberal bias it would be considered bold, edgy, satirical and truthful.
Whoa! These are boring Political FAQs. Where are the normal FAQs?
Scroll up.
Your "art" is just rightwing propaganda! (not a question)
So. Your education was leftwing propaganda. All of Hollywood is a leftist propaganda machine. Actions have consequences. Stuff costs money. Resources are limited. People are lazy. Losers often lose, etc. Welcome to the real world. Put on a helmet, wimp.
All your cartoons bash Liberals. Is that all you do?
No. I also bash Liberals with web graphics. And I point out the good in Conservatism. This is the Political side of my efforts. It is for adults. Liberals are encouraged not to stray into the deep end of the pool.
Why are Obama's suits purple and ties green?
I am following the Barack Obama Drawing Guidelines. Link here: conservatoons.deviantart.com/a… Purple and green are the Joker's colors. His Democrat/Socialist policies and world view are a joke – failed silly nonsense. Obama is a typical deluded Liberal who believes that the only reason gauzy Liberal ideas didn't work is that the correct Liberals did not implement them. Like the Joker, his impulse is to destroy opposition.
Why are you so judgmental?
Because I can be. And I wish more people were. Judgment is a much falsely maligned activity. We make judgments everyday about almost everything and it makes no sense to exclude bad behavior, double-standards and stupid ideas from such scrutiny.
Do you hate all foreigners?
No. I'm not fond of most foreign governments. People are generally far more conservative and sensible than their government. When I rant on a country consider it a rant on the policies of the government and not take things so personally. Obama is my president for now and his administration is more representative of the UN than much of America. Smart, sensible people exist all over the planet. Lighten up.
Hey, I want a serious debate and all I get from you is a childish "no hippies please."
Sorry, we don't always get what we want. I get a lot of comments. Sometimes I intend to be rude. Sometimes it is just bad timing. If you are the 50th person I've responded to then I have run out of patience. Most of the time it is a debate I have already had and won.
Why do you spell "hippie" as "hippy?"
It cheeses off Liberals and it is fun to watch them go crazy over it.
You're a conceited American warmonger!!!
Yes I am. Share that fact with your terrorist neighbor.
You're a hating hateful hater who hates!
No. I just think liberals are naive and wrong. Their socialist ideals look good on paper but often result in tyranny when practiced. They see the world as it ought to be not as it really is. Some grow up. Most never do. I don't hate them. I feel sorry for them. It is the responsibility of all Conservatives to end to their selfish, destructive agenda.
Don't you believe in Cultural Equivalency?
No. Western Culture is superior, American in particular.
When are you going to stop the Teleprompter comics already?
Never. In fact, they are likely to increase since liberals are so hyper-sensitive about their messiah's comical dependency. It is like that of a toddler to a diaper: he makes a big mess without it. A teleprompter in a 3rd grade classroom? C'mon!
On those rare occasions when Obama is off-prompter he speech is slower. He stammers, stutters and generally seems very confused. What seems like mild retardation to me is lauded as brilliant ad-lib by Liberals. My only recourse is gentle ribbing.
You don't believe Man is causing Global Warming!!! Are you kidding me?
I don't think the Earth has a set temperature. It has been both hotter and cooler prior to man's influence. We have modest sway over the planet one way or the other. This does not mean I am therefore pro-pollution. I am pro sensible, affordable solutions, cheap energy and never subsidies. The same folks who say we cannot control spending claim to be able to control climate – if we pay enough. (?) If it is OK to follow the money as it applies to corporations then why is money never considered as it applies to government or climate "science/consensus?" Global Warming is corrupt politicos and toady science teaming up to steal from the rest of us.
You should show both sides and try to educate readers!
No. The mainstream media show you the extreme Liberal side - and I make fun of it. It is beyond the scope of this gallery to attempt to undo all 7 years of your Liberal schooling. Please seek the help of these good folks:
Heritage: www.heritage.org/
Cato: www.cato.org/
Dennis Prager: www.dennisprager.com/
Mark Steyn: www.steynonline.com/
Rush Limbaugh: www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/toda…
Lars Larson: www.larslarson.com/
Global Warming: online.wsj.com/article/SB12260… www.s8int.com/crichton.html
Stop trolling my account! Why are you harassing me?!
This is disturbingly common. A liberal rants about one of my comics proclaiming their vast superiority in all ways. Then I respond or not. Tit for tat. Then they rage that I am trolling their account. (?)
One of your trolls is harassing me. What should I do?
Sadly, anyone who watches me runs this risk. I find it encouraging that there are some members of DA immune from the venom of vicious, Liberal tolerance. My suggestion is to do what I do: have fun with it. Be the reasonable and logical while they rant. Unhinging liberals is terrific sport. See how few exchanges it takes before they call you a racist. Embrace the opportunity.
Whoa, I'm on your side. Why did you bite my head off?
Conservatives are behind enemy lines here on DA, consequently I am a bit jumpy. I have dozens of threads going and sometimes lose track of who is who. So if you get an errant "no hippies please" then accept my apologies.
Why don't you block so-and-so?
Their profanity and childish taunts make their side look even worse. Also, the more they troll my gallery the less time they can spend bullying others. I do block if they start spamming or link to porn.
Why are some comments hidden?
Two main reasons: 1) They have blocked me therefore I cannot reply. My gallery just becomes a soapbox for silly Liberal rants. Nobody needs that. 2) They link to nonsense liberal sites and worse.
Why do you only watch x number of people?
I would like to watch more but I have a hard time staying on top of my messages as it is. It seems rude to watch people then not really watch them.
Hey, you didn't answer my question, Mr. Conservatoons Know-It-All!
Then ask it. Please do not "note" me.
Where can I find hundreds of Conservative, Pro-Capitalism, Anti-Obama web graphics?
Right here:
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
Conservative T-shirts: www.cafepress.com/redtusker
Comic Compendiums: stores.lulu.com/cheeseboy101
Bumper Stickers: www.zazzle.com/Conservatoons
Other Galleries: www.barkingcrayon.com
Infrequently Asked Questions:
Why don't you include an "all the above" in your polls when applicable?
Sometimes I just forget. Other times: there is a limit of 10 answers to the polls but I had 15 or 20 options. I figure you folks are smart enough to add your own "all the above."
Can I "borrow" a poll?
Yes.
Where do you stand on other important issues?
I am at work on a position paper with solutions to every problem plaguing society today. Stay tuned.
Where do you stand on Bigfoot?
I would look to these fine folks for answers: www.ibrorg.org/faqs.html
General updates. A few more questions. IAQs
Art FAQs (Scroll down for Political FAQs)
Is this the very best Conservative Cartoon & Nonsense Gallery on DA?
By far.
Do you do any traditional comic art?
Not really. I do a pencil sketch and then ink over it with a black marker. The rest is by computer. I have not used colored markers or paint on cartoons for years.
Why don't you use traditional methods & materials?
They are messy, take up a lot of space, are not as quick and are difficult to edit. I am more focused on the idea than the art.
What size it the original art?
I sketch on regular notebook paper.
Are you a professional? Are you syndicated?
No and no. I'm just a part-timer laboring in obscurity and manning a remote outpost in the war against socialism. I do a weekdaily cartoon for the website of talk show host Lars Larson. larslarson.com/ I also appear on a TEA Party site called Reclaim Freedom. www.reclaimfreedom.org
Printed comics and syndication are declining. Being on the right politically ensures exclusion from most mainstream venues. Finally unless you do a traditional editorial cartoon it is a talent that even Conservatives tend to find frivolous and of little value. Frankly I do it mostly because I enjoy doing it. Enraging Liberals is just a bonus.
Golly, I cannot get enough of your remarkable wit, why don't you post something daily?
I get that a lot so I have decided to post a daily 'toon on Smack Jeeves. Link here: conservatoons.smackjeeves.com/… We'll see how that goes. Your input and reposts would be greatly appreciated.
Do you accept commissions?
No.
I have a great idea. Can I send it to you?
Yes, ideas are welcome but no promises are made. Most "ideas" are really half and idea. I have a huge backlog - literally 500 to 700 undrawn ideas of my own. And this list seems to grow rather than shrink. It is not likely that I will get to it in a timely manner. Do not "note" me an idea or ask 1st in comments, just state it in the comments. Maybe a fellow Deviant will be motivated to draw it before me. I do not pay for ideas.
Where do you get your ideas?
Same as most people: living among the enemy in a very liberal state, talk radio, friends and family. Ideas abound. Contrary to what many think: lack of time and a limited drawing ability are my bottlenecks. Transforming a whimsical notion into a concise single panel comic often demands more time and talent than I have. I do what I can.
Why aren't your graphics in higher resolution?
Download speed and ease. They are meant for the web.
Can I use a comic for… X, Y, Z?
In general, yes if they are for personal use such as blogs, online favorites, wallpaper, personal sites, a refrigerator, cubicle, classroom etc, yes go ahead print, use, display. You do not need to ask me for permission to link or post something in your journal, Facebook, Pintrest, Tumblr, etc. However mass publications, for profit enterprises and redistribution, etc. will require written approval.
Why do you have over 800 deviations here?
Because I am too lazy to post more often.
How many single panel comics have you drawn?
I draw 5-7 single panel cartoons every week and have completed about 2400: 60/40 generic to conservative.
And graphics?
Many more than comics.
I like the comics. Why do you bother with graphics?
Graphics are quick and easy. They often garner more attention. Maybe because they are easy to read? Also sometimes my ideas/notions lend themselves more to a quick graphic than to a comic.
I like the graphics. Why do you bother with comics?
Single panel comics are my favorite. They take longer and don't get the respect of graphics, stamps, etc. but I like doing them.
What is with your backgrounds? Sometimes they are almost nonexistent and other times they are overly complex.
True.
Who is Carl the Pig and why do you weasel him into your comics?
When I need a non-human Republican to make a point I often ask Carl to help. Part of his compensation is in the form of face-time in other comics. You can often spot him or his friend Ed the Cat on products, pictures, toys and in the background of my comics. I am working on a Carl the Pig site here: www.carlthepig.com/
What about all the typos? How stupid are you?
Well sometimes they are just honest mistakes. I am human. I don't brag about my spelling. Often I have written and edited the caption(s) several times and get lost in all the corrections.
Your art sucks!
No, the art is pretty good. Could it be better? Yes. Is it the best? No. I draw it and move on. There are a thousand more in the pipeline.
Your cartoons aren't funny!
Most are. Maybe they just went over your head. Also some cartoons are meant to illustrate a point or highlight Liberal hypocrisy.
"Hack" part is purely subjective. In the spectrum of art ability I think I fall somewhere to the good side of average and therefore hack does not apply.
I make no secret that I am a big fan of Gary Larson. To the best of my knowledge Gary Larson penned his last syndicated comic in 1996. All his work is featured in the books: Far Side Gallery (1-5), Pre-History of the Far Side and The Last Chapter and Worse. Please present proof along with any plagiarism rant.
Now, have I bit-surfed? ("bit-surf"- a la Dennis Miller: to take somebody else's idea/bit and add to it or tweak it slightly (surf)) Yes, I have. Everyone has. It is possible that I have subconsciously taken a gag from somewhere else, but I have no intention, desire or need to plagiarize.
Do you sell original art?
No.
Why not?
No market for it. My "originals" are a pencil sketch on notebook paper and a matching inked "final." They do not present a very marketable offering.
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
Conservative T-shirts: www.cafepress.com/redtusker
Comic Compendiums: stores.lulu.com/cheeseboy101
Bumper Stickers: www.zazzle.com/Conservatoons
Other Galleries: www.barkingcrayon.com
Can I buy a signed copy of your marvelous Toon Compendiums?
No. Since they must be bought through a 3rd party vendor signed volumes are not possible at this time.
Why don't you have any ebooks?
I'm working on it. It seems graphic ebooks are far trickier than text ebooks.
You are my hero! How can I ever thank you?
Thanks. Forward my stuff to your Liberal friends. It will make my day.
Political FAQs
Why do you even bother with FAQs that Liberals won't read?
These are mostly for the benefit of fellow Conservatives but there is a whimsical part of me that wants to believe that a few Liberals will eventually get it.
Why don't you draw "normal" editorial cartoons?
This is largely out of necessity. Standard editorial cartoons are best served fresh. I am rarely able to draw cartoons as the news is breaking. In order to extend the shelf life of a cartoon, I minimize the use of caricatures. Finally, over-labeling is a pet peeve of mine. An example: the classic monster/tiger/ape/storm with the label: deficit/budget/war/taxes.
OK, but why do you impose rightwing, political nonsense here on DeviantArt?
Nobody forces you to visit this page. DA admin is obviously more reasonable than most of its members or else I would be gone. I began by posting apolitical stuff but quickly got fed up with the smug Liberal assumptions: to oppose Socialism was racist, profit is evil, morals are wrong, abortion must be celebrated, standards have no value, hard work is for the stupid, rich got that way by stealing, minorities are handicapped, etc. It also vexed me when US flags, patriotic themes, conservative and/or religious messages were so resoundingly put down and belittled. So I started posting my conservative, pro-America stuff in rebuttal. The hostility of those who claim the mantel of "tolerance" amused me. It continues to this day.
I don't want to preach to the choir. It is good for Liberals to be reminded that outside their sheltered, dependent enclaves that real Americans are far more conservative than they. Conservatives have a negative image in popular culture and their values are usually misrepresented by the ruling liberal class. It is the duty of every Conservative to push back the socialist hordes wherever they exist. Finally, the comments here showcase the liberal version of tolerance and open mindedness.
Do you get a lot of hate mail?
See comments.
Why do you use so many stereotypes?
I will not preface every comic with a disclaimer. I realize that not every liberal is slack-jawed, stoner living in their parents' basement. I am also aware that not every conservative is an uptight, be-suited prude. But there is a core of truth in stereotypes and it eliminates the need for awkward labeling or superfluous dialog. (see "editorial cartoon" above)
Some of your stuff is crass, mean-spirited & unfair!
Yeah, maybe. But if my work had a Liberal bias it would be considered bold, edgy, satirical and truthful.
Whoa! These are boring Political FAQs. Where are the normal FAQs?
Scroll up.
Your "art" is just rightwing propaganda! (not a question)
So. Your education was leftwing propaganda. All of Hollywood is a leftist propaganda machine. Actions have consequences. Stuff costs money. Resources are limited. People are lazy. Losers often lose, etc. Welcome to the real world. Put on a helmet, wimp.
All your cartoons bash Liberals. Is that all you do?
No. I also bash Liberals with web graphics. And I point out the good in Conservatism. This is the Political side of my efforts. It is for adults. Liberals are encouraged not to stray into the deep end of the pool.
Why are Obama's suits purple and ties green?
I am following the Barack Obama Drawing Guidelines. Link here: conservatoons.deviantart.com/a… Purple and green are the Joker's colors. His Democrat/Socialist policies and world view are a joke – failed silly nonsense. Obama is a typical deluded Liberal who believes that the only reason gauzy Liberal ideas didn't work is that the correct Liberals did not implement them. Like the Joker, his impulse is to destroy opposition.
Why are you so judgmental?
Because I can be. And I wish more people were. Judgment is a much falsely maligned activity. We make judgments everyday about almost everything and it makes no sense to exclude bad behavior, double-standards and stupid ideas from such scrutiny.
Do you hate all foreigners?
No. I'm not fond of most foreign governments. People are generally far more conservative and sensible than their government. When I rant on a country consider it a rant on the policies of the government and not take things so personally. Obama is my president for now and his administration is more representative of the UN than much of America. Smart, sensible people exist all over the planet. Lighten up.
Hey, I want a serious debate and all I get from you is a childish "no hippies please."
Sorry, we don't always get what we want. I get a lot of comments. Sometimes I intend to be rude. Sometimes it is just bad timing. If you are the 50th person I've responded to then I have run out of patience. Most of the time it is a debate I have already had and won.
Why do you spell "hippie" as "hippy?"
It cheeses off Liberals and it is fun to watch them go crazy over it.
You're a conceited American warmonger!!!
Yes I am. Share that fact with your terrorist neighbor.
You're a hating hateful hater who hates!
No. I just think liberals are naive and wrong. Their socialist ideals look good on paper but often result in tyranny when practiced. They see the world as it ought to be not as it really is. Some grow up. Most never do. I don't hate them. I feel sorry for them. It is the responsibility of all Conservatives to end to their selfish, destructive agenda.
Don't you believe in Cultural Equivalency?
No. Western Culture is superior, American in particular.
When are you going to stop the Teleprompter comics already?
Never. In fact, they are likely to increase since liberals are so hyper-sensitive about their messiah's comical dependency. It is like that of a toddler to a diaper: he makes a big mess without it. A teleprompter in a 3rd grade classroom? C'mon!
On those rare occasions when Obama is off-prompter he speech is slower. He stammers, stutters and generally seems very confused. What seems like mild retardation to me is lauded as brilliant ad-lib by Liberals. My only recourse is gentle ribbing.
You don't believe Man is causing Global Warming!!! Are you kidding me?
I don't think the Earth has a set temperature. It has been both hotter and cooler prior to man's influence. We have modest sway over the planet one way or the other. This does not mean I am therefore pro-pollution. I am pro sensible, affordable solutions, cheap energy and never subsidies. The same folks who say we cannot control spending claim to be able to control climate – if we pay enough. (?) If it is OK to follow the money as it applies to corporations then why is money never considered as it applies to government or climate "science/consensus?" Global Warming is corrupt politicos and toady science teaming up to steal from the rest of us.
You should show both sides and try to educate readers!
No. The mainstream media show you the extreme Liberal side - and I make fun of it. It is beyond the scope of this gallery to attempt to undo all 7 years of your Liberal schooling. Please seek the help of these good folks:
Heritage: www.heritage.org/
Cato: www.cato.org/
Dennis Prager: www.dennisprager.com/
Mark Steyn: www.steynonline.com/
Rush Limbaugh: www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/toda…
Lars Larson: www.larslarson.com/
Global Warming: online.wsj.com/article/SB12260… www.s8int.com/crichton.html
Stop trolling my account! Why are you harassing me?!
This is disturbingly common. A liberal rants about one of my comics proclaiming their vast superiority in all ways. Then I respond or not. Tit for tat. Then they rage that I am trolling their account. (?)
One of your trolls is harassing me. What should I do?
Sadly, anyone who watches me runs this risk. I find it encouraging that there are some members of DA immune from the venom of vicious, Liberal tolerance. My suggestion is to do what I do: have fun with it. Be the reasonable and logical while they rant. Unhinging liberals is terrific sport. See how few exchanges it takes before they call you a racist. Embrace the opportunity.
Whoa, I'm on your side. Why did you bite my head off?
Conservatives are behind enemy lines here on DA, consequently I am a bit jumpy. I have dozens of threads going and sometimes lose track of who is who. So if you get an errant "no hippies please" then accept my apologies.
Why don't you block so-and-so?
Their profanity and childish taunts make their side look even worse. Also, the more they troll my gallery the less time they can spend bullying others. I do block if they start spamming or link to porn.
Why are some comments hidden?
Two main reasons: 1) They have blocked me therefore I cannot reply. My gallery just becomes a soapbox for silly Liberal rants. Nobody needs that. 2) They link to nonsense liberal sites and worse.
Why do you only watch x number of people?
I would like to watch more but I have a hard time staying on top of my messages as it is. It seems rude to watch people then not really watch them.
Hey, you didn't answer my question, Mr. Conservatoons Know-It-All!
Then ask it. Please do not "note" me.
Where can I find hundreds of Conservative, Pro-Capitalism, Anti-Obama web graphics?
Right here:
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
Conservative T-shirts: www.cafepress.com/redtusker
Comic Compendiums: stores.lulu.com/cheeseboy101
Bumper Stickers: www.zazzle.com/Conservatoons
Other Galleries: www.barkingcrayon.com
Infrequently Asked Questions:
Why don't you include an "all the above" in your polls when applicable?
Sometimes I just forget. Other times: there is a limit of 10 answers to the polls but I had 15 or 20 options. I figure you folks are smart enough to add your own "all the above."
Can I "borrow" a poll?
Yes.
Where do you stand on other important issues?
I am at work on a position paper with solutions to every problem plaguing society today. Stay tuned.
Where do you stand on Bigfoot?
I would look to these fine folks for answers: www.ibrorg.org/faqs.html
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Top 5 Lessons learned by John Q. Republican in the 2012 election:
Sometimes Pollsters get it exactly right. Maybe it was luck. Maybe for all the wrong reasons. Maybe the lure of free stuff was underestimated. Regardless, many of the polls turned out to be pretty accurate. The problem with a dishonest, inept press is that you can overlook the few times they are truthful.
Stop w/ Democrat-Lite. It is not possible outbid Liberals. We need to convince people that things earned are far better than things given by govt. Both McCain & Romney were the most liberal Republicans and the choice of GOP elders. Failures are a lesson the GOP seems to ignore.
Turnout is key. You can't win if your party stays home. Abandon the base at your peril. If your candidate is on the opposite side of 2 major issues, Obamacare and Immigration, don't expect enthusiasm. Then once Romney locked up the nomination only the precious Independents mattered. His base was largely ignored and often belittled.
Most of the beltway GOP know little. The best Rove, Krauthammer, et al can manage is squeakers and good efforts. They are not bold. Good showings and nice efforts do not get the W. Style points count little. Winning matters. Winners steer the ship. The GOP must learn lessons from Scot Walker and the Tea Party. They are the ones taking scalps.
Do not listen to advice from Liberals. What they claim would be helpful is exactly the opposite. They keep saying we need to move to the left - and we keep losing. In 2010 we went right and won. Liberals are opponents not friends. Will the GOP please, please recognize this!
-Conservatoons
Sometimes Pollsters get it exactly right. Maybe it was luck. Maybe for all the wrong reasons. Maybe the lure of free stuff was underestimated. Regardless, many of the polls turned out to be pretty accurate. The problem with a dishonest, inept press is that you can overlook the few times they are truthful.
Stop w/ Democrat-Lite. It is not possible outbid Liberals. We need to convince people that things earned are far better than things given by govt. Both McCain & Romney were the most liberal Republicans and the choice of GOP elders. Failures are a lesson the GOP seems to ignore.
Turnout is key. You can't win if your party stays home. Abandon the base at your peril. If your candidate is on the opposite side of 2 major issues, Obamacare and Immigration, don't expect enthusiasm. Then once Romney locked up the nomination only the precious Independents mattered. His base was largely ignored and often belittled.
Most of the beltway GOP know little. The best Rove, Krauthammer, et al can manage is squeakers and good efforts. They are not bold. Good showings and nice efforts do not get the W. Style points count little. Winning matters. Winners steer the ship. The GOP must learn lessons from Scot Walker and the Tea Party. They are the ones taking scalps.
Do not listen to advice from Liberals. What they claim would be helpful is exactly the opposite. They keep saying we need to move to the left - and we keep losing. In 2010 we went right and won. Liberals are opponents not friends. Will the GOP please, please recognize this!
-Conservatoons
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