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If HAMAS terrorists beheaded puppies would Liberals still support them? 

25%
22 deviants said Yes. Opposing Israel is the key.
20%
18 deviants said Yes, since they would likely be Israeli puppies.
19%
17 deviants said Yes, because the Jews make them do bad things.
18%
16 deviants said Yes, as long as Obama supports them.
12%
11 deviants said 100% no.
6%
5 deviants said Yes, because they did not mean it.

The short answer: Yes, years ago, but I still watch it.   Even the most avid shark enthusiast would have to concede that Shark Week has devolved down to the pseudo-intellectuals’ version of a monster truck rally / mud bog competition.

In the earlier days it was fun, educational and exciting.  What is better than a shark attacking and tearing some hapless creature to shreds in a cloud of blood?  We watched the shows thinking: wow, I didn’t know that, fascinating. 

Fast forward 25 years.  (Yes, over 25 yrs actually)

Now the internet has more shark video and information than you could ever want.  Much of it better than anything you will see during Shark Week. 

Discovery’s shark shows marathon has the look and feel of a Japanese game show.  They over–hype their Sharkaganza every bit as much as ESPN over-hypes the Super Bowl.  Commercials start months prior.  You can buy all manner of Shark Week swag:  DVDs, foam hats, trophy heads and one dozen Shark Week cupcakes ($39.95 +$20.00 handling fee)… to list a few.  Even the president will likely put down his golf clubs long enough to shoot a PSA stressing the critical role Shark Week plays in the wars on terrorism and capitalism.

Hey, Stop Hating Shark Week!

I don’t hate it.  It does disappoint me though.  And I disappoint myself by watching year after year.  Here are a few reasons why:  

    1.  The nearest thing today to the once popular freak show is the parade of shark victims every year on shark week.  Frankly, it is both morbid and boring now.  The stories vary little.  They usually involve water and blood with the loss of a limb.  Discovery has shown some victims so often that they feel like family.

    2.  Building a 1 hour show around a 6 second clip.  Actually this probably applies to half of all shark week specials.  For 30 minutes of the 40 minute (1 hour) show we get teasers, stills, 2 second clips, commercials, interviews of ugly researchers, more teasers, etc.  Then entire 6 second clip is shown.  For the next 10 minutes that clip is shown over and over: slow-mo, stop motion, ultra slow-mo, backwards, enhanced, computerized version, with commentary ……. until you are utterly worn out. 

    3.  “Hosting” shark week.  Does shark week need a host?  Aren’t the sharks able to carry the day?  Do we really need Oprah or Ryan Seacrest pimping the poor fish?  Worse than a famous host is the dull, unknown host with some kind of shark credentials.  I suspect a reality show/talent search for the perfect Shark Week host is in our future. 

    4.  Is there anything more boring than shark “researchers” and/or crew members and their stories?  That crowd is only a bit less creepy and one dimensional than bigfoot researchers.  Watching hyper-sensitive loners wax poetic about their love for these deadly fish demonstrates the need for more mental therapy in this country but it is bad TV.   Further, listening to sun-dried cameramen drone on about endless boredom with the rare close call might be fascinating to media wizards but after 2 or 3 shows like that I am ready to move on.  Tip from viewers:  Behind the Scenes tripe is only interesting to roadies working behind the scenes.

Despite its enormous failings I will tune in for parts of Shark Week and hate myself for doing so.  It is an over-sold, inferior product but what else is there to watch in August?  This must be how it feels to vote Democrat.

 

-Conservatoons.

 

PS – I will do my part and add to the chaos that is over-hyped Shark Week by posting shark cartoons.  Fish On.

PPS – Got a peeve about shark week?   Share it here.

 

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Conservatoons
Comics liberals dare not draw.
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:iconamericathehero1337:
AmericaTheHero1337 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Artist
Hey, serious question, what's your favorite part of Obama's presidency been so far?
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner 1 day ago
That it only has 2 more yrs to dismantle the country.
Reply
:iconamericathehero1337:
AmericaTheHero1337 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Artist
That's not a moment. Come on, we all have one...
Reply
:iconboshthehedgehog:
boshthehedgehog Featured By Owner 2 days ago
I actually didn't watch that much of Shark Week.  However, I did find that one show about deep-sea sharks to be quite fascinating.
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner 1 day ago
I missed a lot too.   Much about sharks is fascinating.  I can watch them eat things all day.
Reply
:iconstormythetrooper:
StormyTheTrooper Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You know instead of criticizing and making fun of BO you should actually do something about the issues and problems America faces like a President of the United States would,that way BO can criticize and make fun of you for doing so..................................


..... cuz he seems to want that to happen.
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Yeah, I'll consider it over a round of golf.
Reply
:iconstormythetrooper:
StormyTheTrooper Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There you go!  Just like the president!
Reply
:iconill-sap-you-good:
Ill-Sap-You-Good Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
 Conservatoons, I have a dream! That one day, every person in this nation will control their own destiny! A land of the truly free dammit! A nation of action, not words, ruled by strength, not committee! Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around! Where power and justice are in back where they belong, in the hands of the people! Where every man is freeto think, to act, For himself! FUCK all these limp-dick lawyers, and these chicken shit bureaucrats! FUCK this 24/7 spew of internet trivia and celebrity bullshit! FUCK "American pride", fuck the media, FUCK ALL OF IT! America is diseased! Rotten to the core! There's no saving it. We need to pull it out by the roots, wipe the slate clean, BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new America will be born! Evolved but unchained! And in this new America, people will fight for what they believe! Not for money, not for oil, not for what they're told is right! Every man will be free to fight his own wars!
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
I share about half that dream.  Don't want it burnt down tho.

People will always be motivated by greed (money).
Reply
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