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Did you know that Obama had appointed a fat, ugly, incompetent woman to be head of the Secret Service? 

42%
16 deviants said It certainly explains the state of the Secret Service today.
39%
15 deviants said All his top advisors are fat, ugly, incompetent women. (e.g. Valeri Jarret, Hillary Clinton, Lois Lerner, Eric Holder, Michelle Obama, et al.)
13%
5 deviants said Hey, he is limited to only Democrat women.
5%
2 deviants said No, I assumed it was an ex-Special Forces and career Secret Sercvice guy.

The short answer: Yes, years ago, but I still watch it.   Even the most avid shark enthusiast would have to concede that Shark Week has devolved down to the pseudo-intellectuals’ version of a monster truck rally / mud bog competition.

In the earlier days it was fun, educational and exciting.  What is better than a shark attacking and tearing some hapless creature to shreds in a cloud of blood?  We watched the shows thinking: wow, I didn’t know that, fascinating. 

Fast forward 25 years.  (Yes, over 25 yrs actually)

Now the internet has more shark video and information than you could ever want.  Much of it better than anything you will see during Shark Week. 

Discovery’s shark shows marathon has the look and feel of a Japanese game show.  They over–hype their Sharkaganza every bit as much as ESPN over-hypes the Super Bowl.  Commercials start months prior.  You can buy all manner of Shark Week swag:  DVDs, foam hats, trophy heads and one dozen Shark Week cupcakes ($39.95 +$20.00 handling fee)… to list a few.  Even the president will likely put down his golf clubs long enough to shoot a PSA stressing the critical role Shark Week plays in the wars on terrorism and capitalism.

Hey, Stop Hating Shark Week!

I don’t hate it.  It does disappoint me though.  And I disappoint myself by watching year after year.  Here are a few reasons why:  

    1.  The nearest thing today to the once popular freak show is the parade of shark victims every year on shark week.  Frankly, it is both morbid and boring now.  The stories vary little.  They usually involve water and blood with the loss of a limb.  Discovery has shown some victims so often that they feel like family.

    2.  Building a 1 hour show around a 6 second clip.  Actually this probably applies to half of all shark week specials.  For 30 minutes of the 40 minute (1 hour) show we get teasers, stills, 2 second clips, commercials, interviews of ugly researchers, more teasers, etc.  Then entire 6 second clip is shown.  For the next 10 minutes that clip is shown over and over: slow-mo, stop motion, ultra slow-mo, backwards, enhanced, computerized version, with commentary ……. until you are utterly worn out. 

    3.  “Hosting” shark week.  Does shark week need a host?  Aren’t the sharks able to carry the day?  Do we really need Oprah or Ryan Seacrest pimping the poor fish?  Worse than a famous host is the dull, unknown host with some kind of shark credentials.  I suspect a reality show/talent search for the perfect Shark Week host is in our future. 

    4.  Is there anything more boring than shark “researchers” and/or crew members and their stories?  That crowd is only a bit less creepy and one dimensional than bigfoot researchers.  Watching hyper-sensitive loners wax poetic about their love for these deadly fish demonstrates the need for more mental therapy in this country but it is bad TV.   Further, listening to sun-dried cameramen drone on about endless boredom with the rare close call might be fascinating to media wizards but after 2 or 3 shows like that I am ready to move on.  Tip from viewers:  Behind the Scenes tripe is only interesting to roadies working behind the scenes.

Despite its enormous failings I will tune in for parts of Shark Week and hate myself for doing so.  It is an over-sold, inferior product but what else is there to watch in August?  This must be how it feels to vote Democrat.

 

-Conservatoons.

 

PS – I will do my part and add to the chaos that is over-hyped Shark Week by posting shark cartoons.  Fish On.

PPS – Got a peeve about shark week?   Share it here.

 

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Conservatoons
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:iconrobomarkov:
Robomarkov Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Thank you for :+fav: of "Davids Egg"!!!
Reply
:iconamericathehero1337:
AmericaTheHero1337 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I'm sorry, I know your profile isn't a message board, but seriously, I've seen some awful things on the internet, but this is one of the worst: 

38.media.tumblr.com/bc2d3327fa…
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014
I saw that on Facebook.  Yeah, when you don't kill terrorists they just go on being terrorists.
Reply
:iconamericathehero1337:
AmericaTheHero1337 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Oh, I thought it was implying that America was funding ISIS
Reply
:iconkzn02:
KZN02 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2014   General Artist
Didn't the US arm ISIS a few years ago or something?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconstormythetrooper:
StormyTheTrooper Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Washington State: harassing Bigfoot, a Sasquatch or other undiscovered species is a felony punishable by fine or imprisonment. 
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:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014
as it should be.   
Reply
:iconamericathehero1337:
AmericaTheHero1337 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
On an unrelated note, whatever happened to journalistic integrity?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeikRJ…

OK, that's all from me today
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014
Well it was Info Wars.  Alex Jones is out there.  He does not claim to be objective as does CNN ABC NBC CBS MSNBC etc.
Reply
:iconrobomarkov:
Robomarkov Featured By Owner 1 day ago
I used to listen to him. A.J. is a crazy person and full of crap. He was removed from KLBJ radio in Austin, TX in 2000 after his prediction of UN forces invading USA never happened. Up until his removal he dispensed paranoia and encouraged actions that could get you arrested.

He is toxic crazy and will poison your mind. He makes money off of his crazy by poisoning minds.

Ignore him and encourage others to ignore him utterly.
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