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With John Stewart leaving The Daily Show and Brian Williams in time out, where will Liberals get their fake news? 

58%
52 deviants said All the above.
20%
18 deviants said Voodoo. Mediums. The Magic 8 ball.
8%
7 deviants said ABC, CNN, MSNBC et al.
7%
6 deviants said Liberals don’t need news they have emotions.
6%
5 deviants said Obama’s teleprompter.
2%
2 deviants said Hollywood.
0%
No deviants said Tarot cards. Tea leaves. Smoke signals.
0%
No deviants said Global Warming “scientists”
0%
No deviants said The National Enquirer.
0%
No deviants said Government liars and hoaxing agencies.

The short answer: Yes, years ago, but I still watch it.   Even the most avid shark enthusiast would have to concede that Shark Week has devolved down to the pseudo-intellectuals’ version of a monster truck rally / mud bog competition.

In the earlier days it was fun, educational and exciting.  What is better than a shark attacking and tearing some hapless creature to shreds in a cloud of blood?  We watched the shows thinking: wow, I didn’t know that, fascinating. 

Fast forward 25 years.  (Yes, over 25 yrs actually)

Now the internet has more shark video and information than you could ever want.  Much of it better than anything you will see during Shark Week. 

Discovery’s shark shows marathon has the look and feel of a Japanese game show.  They over–hype their Sharkaganza every bit as much as ESPN over-hypes the Super Bowl.  Commercials start months prior.  You can buy all manner of Shark Week swag:  DVDs, foam hats, trophy heads and one dozen Shark Week cupcakes ($39.95 +$20.00 handling fee)… to list a few.  Even the president will likely put down his golf clubs long enough to shoot a PSA stressing the critical role Shark Week plays in the wars on terrorism and capitalism.

Hey, Stop Hating Shark Week!

I don’t hate it.  It does disappoint me though.  And I disappoint myself by watching year after year.  Here are a few reasons why:  

    1.  The nearest thing today to the once popular freak show is the parade of shark victims every year on shark week.  Frankly, it is both morbid and boring now.  The stories vary little.  They usually involve water and blood with the loss of a limb.  Discovery has shown some victims so often that they feel like family.

    2.  Building a 1 hour show around a 6 second clip.  Actually this probably applies to half of all shark week specials.  For 30 minutes of the 40 minute (1 hour) show we get teasers, stills, 2 second clips, commercials, interviews of ugly researchers, more teasers, etc.  Then entire 6 second clip is shown.  For the next 10 minutes that clip is shown over and over: slow-mo, stop motion, ultra slow-mo, backwards, enhanced, computerized version, with commentary ……. until you are utterly worn out. 

    3.  “Hosting” shark week.  Does shark week need a host?  Aren’t the sharks able to carry the day?  Do we really need Oprah or Ryan Seacrest pimping the poor fish?  Worse than a famous host is the dull, unknown host with some kind of shark credentials.  I suspect a reality show/talent search for the perfect Shark Week host is in our future. 

    4.  Is there anything more boring than shark “researchers” and/or crew members and their stories?  That crowd is only a bit less creepy and one dimensional than bigfoot researchers.  Watching hyper-sensitive loners wax poetic about their love for these deadly fish demonstrates the need for more mental therapy in this country but it is bad TV.   Further, listening to sun-dried cameramen drone on about endless boredom with the rare close call might be fascinating to media wizards but after 2 or 3 shows like that I am ready to move on.  Tip from viewers:  Behind the Scenes tripe is only interesting to roadies working behind the scenes.

Despite its enormous failings I will tune in for parts of Shark Week and hate myself for doing so.  It is an over-sold, inferior product but what else is there to watch in August?  This must be how it feels to vote Democrat.

 

-Conservatoons.

 

PS – I will do my part and add to the chaos that is over-hyped Shark Week by posting shark cartoons.  Fish On.

PPS – Got a peeve about shark week?   Share it here.

 

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Conservatoons
Comics liberals dare not draw.
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:iconfirenationphoenix:
FireNationPhoenix Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Filmographer
BOLDLY GONIG WHERE NO CONSERVATIVE HAS GONE BEFORE, awesome cartoons, i love political cartoons
Reply
:iconbelianis:
belianis Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Hola.
My profile has a gallery, HISTORY, that is all about caricatures and cartoons.
Could you please peruse it and tell me what do you think of it?
Gracias, de
Juan Jose Morales-Castillo, Belianis, favorite knight of Don Quixote
Reply
:icondbeeers:
DBEEERS Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015
Thank you for adding "Pierce Brosnan Vulcanized" to your favorites, I greatly appreciate it.
Reply
:iconviolet-illusions:
Violet-Illusions Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2015
most of the stuff here is too funny XD

agree or disagree on the politics, at the end we all need some humour xD

that devID though owo
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015
Thanks.   ID or icon?  ID because that is just what I was known by on radio.  Icon because Liberals hate patriotism.
Reply
:iconoblivionartcraft132:
I still don't see why you use the phrase "no hippies please" more of an insult rather than what the phrase really means, especially even you use it when people are mostly asking honest questions that is might be negative, but yet act like a total ignorant dick about it, you have a response for that?
Reply
:iconconservatoons:
Conservatoons Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015
See my FAQs.
no hippies please.
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:iconoblivionartcraft132:
oblivionartcraft132 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015
never mind....
Reply
:iconkajm:
Kajm Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You've been quiet of late. Busy IRL?
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